Matthew Oates staged a re-enactment of the historic Emperor's Breakfast, for the benefit of those tired of endless reality programming, cooking shows, interminable hospital dramas and general television genre overload. Here the core issues that are only hinted at in "Pride and Prejudice", obliquely referenced in "Gosford Park" and willfully mis-represented in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" are cruelly exposed in the steely glare of the BBC's cameras.
Wildlife presenter Mike Dilger being presented to His Imperial Majesty. Fermyn Woods
'Beeb filming shopping expeditions in advance of the 2009 Purple Emperor season... This particular oriental store ran out of shrimp paste.'
The Emperor's Breakfast table, Fermyn Woods, July 5th. Complete with Pimms, horse manure, Stinking Bishop cheese, and 7 different types of shrimp paste.'
Erecting the Emperor's Breakfast - or rather, moving it to another location where the ruddy insect was being more cooperative... . Note Dilger and TV crew on right.'
Rare photo of Hulme and Oates sober and dressed (Emperor-spotting for BBC Nat Hist Unit, Fermyn Woods, 9th July).'
And if they foot causeth thee to stumble, cut it off, for it is better to hop into the kingdom of Heaven ...' (Matthew 18:8 & Mark 9:45 - or thereabouts)
'Normal for Fermyn...'.